The One Idea That Could Change Everything…Mar 02, 2018
I want to write about the POWER of working with a COACH.
By the end of this post, you should have a clear understanding of how coaching can benefit you, why others say you need to work with a coach, and the one idea that could change everything for you...
But let's start with talking about YOU.
You are inventing your reality with the stories you tell yourself. You are manifesting your own reality.
Tell good stories, have a good life. Tell bad stories, have a bad life. (Maybe a really bad one.)
This means you can create a very different life. As soon as you discover how to change your thinking… The "meaning" that you’re making with your thoughts. So, quick question for you: How do you like your reality?
One of the things I specialize in is mindset mastery. In all the years I’ve been coaching I’ve realized something… almost everyone thinks changing thought is difficult (or even impossible). But it’s actually easy, immediate, and automatic once you know how.
So let’s talk about how you can gain way more control over your mindset. Let's start to master your seemingly unruly "meaning making" brain. Stick with me because I’m not talking about anything mystical or "woo-woo" here...
I’m simply talking about the regular thoughts you have going on on a daily basis.
Let’s be clear on a few things:
- Your thoughts create your feelings.
- Your feelings create your behaviors.
- Your behaviors create your results. (Period.)
See how thinking is actually the source of how you create your entire reality?
If you change a behavior, but don’t change your thinking or how you feel about things... Chances are not much will change in your life. And the behavior most likely won’t stick.
(Ever start a habit only to quit days, or hours, later?)
But if you change your thinking… Really change it… That changes everything. Especially if you change it in the WAY I show you. See it’s not WHAT you need to think, instead it’s discovering HOW to think in a very different, elevated way.
Once you learn HOW to think in this higher way, you can forever manufacture the things you most want: happiness, courage, and massive action.
(This is actually what we should be teaching people in schools.)
It’s that delusion that keeps you anxious, depressed, stuck in a cycle of procrastination. It keeps you from feeling the way you want to feel and acting the way you want to act.
We need a shift our sense of "self," our identity, who we are at the core. The meaning making machine itself.
Remember how I said your thoughts create feelings, feelings create behavior, and behaviors create your results? Well guess what changes when you change your identity. Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors ALL CHANGE.
Which means, you show up completely different in the world. Immediately getting different results. It begins with mental mastery. It begins with learning how to make NEW meanings. It begins with seeing through different "lenses" (more on lenses later). It ends with getting different results.
Sometimes, even when you’re aware that you NEED CHANGE, you can still find that you struggle getting RESULTS for yourself.
One way you can assure that you’ll get RESULTS is by working with a coach.
Here’s what Bill Gates has to say about this…
The opening line is “Everybody needs a coach.”
And then at 1:07 you’ll hear: "Every famous athlete, every famous performer, has somebody who’s a coach..." -Eric Schmidt (Executive Chairman, Alphabet/Google)
Let’s assume these guys may be onto something.
I want to explain the power of working with a coach. Not just in personal development, but in any area where you're trying to succeed.
Here are some reasons a coach can help:
There are some things you just can’t see. Getting someone else’s perspective is crucial when the gap is outside your ability to see it. Sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know.
Find Focus Amidst Overload:
We’re flooded with information these days. From many places, and it’s CONSTANT. Knowledge is fast and knowledge is free.
You "know" a lot. You can find any information you want (pretty much). But more and more of us are finding we’re not able to make the progress with information alone. You may know exactly WHAT to do, but you don’t know HOW to do it. Or you may even know how, but for some reason you’re not applying what you KNOW.
Do you know how nice it is to set some tangible goals with someone? Then have that someone keep you accountable to what matters most? That alone can change the game.
Whether you’re learning how to play Bridge, Golf or how to run a Huge Business - there are skills involved. A good coach should be able to help you develop the important skills you'll need.
This one may be my favorite - both to get from a coach and to give as a coach. New knowledge!
There are shortcuts in this life. Some people know certain secrets. Getting the tips, tricks and shortcuts is really valuable. A good coach should have a bunch of these waiting for you.
What should we expect from investing in a coach?
In a word: VALUE.
It needs to pay you back. That may be in money, but it may not.
If you hire a marketing coach. It should lead to more leads. A sales coach should lead to more closes. If it’s a personal development coach, they should be able to "fix the pain" your current life is leading to.
If you’re suffering, think of what the COST of that suffering is.
If you had persistent physical pain in your gut, and a single $100 pill could fix it, would it be worth it? I mean $100 for ONE PILL is a LOT of money. Many people wouldn’t pay that for a single pill, just on principle.
But what if you never fix that daily pain in your gut? What if for the rest of your life, you hurt every day? What’s the real cost of that?!?
Think of all the other things you’re conditioned to pay $100 for, over and over again. How many tanks of gas is that? How many diners out? How much of your weekly grocery run?
We spend money all the time on the other things without a thought. But because the pill is a new expense, one you’re not used to, maybe you don’t do it and you keep suffering.
Hmmm… That may not be the shortest path to awesome.
The point is. The coaching you invest in needs to be valuable. So how do you pick?
While coaching may be valuable, I want to be clear on one thing:
NOT ALL COACHES CAN HELP YOU.
(In fact, most probably can’t.)
Which brings me to the Bell Curve Theory.
You can apply the bell curve to any area of talent. Talent will always distribute on some form of a bell curve:
The majority of talent will be average. Some people will be exceptional. They are the very best at what they do. And some people shouldn’t be doing the job at all. They are the worst at what they do.
This applies to any field whether it be doctors, lawyers, car mechanics, or coaches. Some are awesome.
Some... not so much.
How expensive will it be?
The cost of working with better coaches will be more money. It SHOULD be more money. They get a better result, and they get it faster. Why pay someone money who gets no result, or even hurt the situation?
(Insert guy, in his 40’s living at home with his mother…)
"Mom! I can't seem to find work anywhere! I don't know why no one wants to hire me. You know what... I’m going to be a Life Coach!!!"
In an industry where anyone can hang a sign out on the internet and call themselves a coach, you’ll want to be careful. Credentials aren’t much help here either. The same guy could be getting certified, and passing the "coaching test." All while he still hasn’t figured out his own life yet.
So credentials don’t always mean what we hope they mean. So how can you tell who to work with?
One great way: Look to what other people say about working with them.
Whoever you choose to work with should have testimonials. Verified information about them from OTHER sources. It’s not valuable if I tell you "I’m the best coach in the world." But if tons of others say so, then maybe there’s really something there.
Let’s wrap this rant up…
Everyone should have a coach. So says Bill Gates.
When you think of the "best of the best," those at the very top of their game. How do you think they got to where they are? Maybe they had exceptional talent. Maybe they had tons of willpower. Maybe they got a "lucky break."
Whatever the reason, chances are they also worked with a coach.
Coaching applies to everyone, not just those at the top. Coaches are beneficial all the way down to a pee-wee soccer league. As humans we learn from others and don’t excel in a vacuum.
There are tons of areas where a coach can help.
I listed a handful above:
- Skill development
This list could easily be expanded. And you don’t need all these to get huge value. Getting help in any of single area can be very helpful.
Only work with a solid coach.
Find someone good. Don’t pick from the "talentless side" of the bell curve. Certifications may not matter as much as you think. So make sure others have said they’re good.
A talented coach may cost a little more, but it will be WORTH IT.
So... Is it time for YOU to work with a coach?
If it is I’d be flattered if you’d consider working with me.
If you don’t choose me as your coach, that’s ok too. But work with someone!
While no one (including me!) WANTS a coach, the good ones really do help.
And a good coach could be the one difference that turns your entire life around.
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