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The Different Meanings of To Be

May 15, 2006

I want to clarify what I mean by "to be" because it is actually more than one thing. It is both "to be - still" and also "to be - what you are." This may be hard to stomach because these seem to be in opposition, but they are both really important. It's actually many many layers, and facets of things to wade through. So let's look for more language around this issue.

"To be still" implies working with the mind through concentration and space to "still" the busy mind. You might think of this as the Buddhist way of practicing meditation. It implies a lot of things: Peace, but also difficulty in finding that peace. It has a sense of carrot and stick to it: I'm not still now, and I want to be still. So time is implied. "I'm not what I want to be." There is a part of us that is trying to grow. This is the part that realizes that need for growth. This type of practice is important. We could call this discipline.

"To be what you are" implies a looser idea, of "I'm OK" in any situation. So if you are busy, be busy. If you are still, be still. You could think of this in a more Taoist sense, or more "zen" if you will. Up is down, right is wrong, everything is OK.

This sense is much less rational, but also very important. It's being gentle with who we are. It's also dropping expectations about what we are supposed to be. This is the state that has no conflict, even when "conflict" is there. Meaning, in this state, you are not trying to be anything but what you are. This is the awakened state. This you might call freedom.

So the discipline allows for the second freedom, in a sense. The discipline is hard, and the freedom is soft. They are two ends of a spectrum. The Buddha talked about the middle path, and this is what he meant. You can't leave your mind too loose, it needs some discipline. It also can't be too rigid, or you never actually sit in the space of freedom.

A mystical Christian might say that since everything is God, each moment is the expression of God right now. We should learn to be in alignment with that, and it takes forgiveness (being what you are) and a bit of discipline (learning to be still) to align with that expression.

So the practice of meditation is working with your mind to still it. But it is also the practice of forgiving, or allowing to be whatever is. You may sit and have a busy mind. That's OK. You may sit and fall into a lot of freedom, that's OK too. If you feel too loose, bring some discipline. If you find you're being too rigid, loosen up. That's the middle path.

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